Keep It Friendly June 6, 2011 at 8:23 pm
Remember the freedom of running down the street to friend on the corner knowing that they would be there to play and that it was going to be fun. There are people that do this very thing with sexual partners. The understanding from the beginning is this person is available to go out for a laugh and come over for a some good sex. More and more sex is being seen as the human need that is is and people are finding fun and respectful ways to get the need met with out having to make life altering commitments that they may not be ready for. That however does not mean the agreements are not made and met. One way to do it is just off the cuff step by step.
Maybe meet someone online off of a Personal dating site and present the open friendship as what is offered in the connection. If community is prefers by some so polyamoury is the road to take. There are groups and regular parties to attend and meet people at. Many areas have potlucks that are more for deep talks and questions on how to deal with more then one lover in life. Still that is a big school to swim with right out the gate. Get a copy of -Loving More- and see if it is a good fit. In the mean time there is a classic book that helps with loving many in whatever way you might choose to do it. The book focuses on the little everyday thinks that one can do to keep things harmonious . The book is called -The Ethical Slut- a powerful tool if what is wanted is to love at choice with out doing harm to others or yourself. Even with out a structure the same joy that was felt with friends during childhood. Young people feel it and then let it go. As adults we often will not let the feeling come so it can never go through the body or leave the relationship for that matter. Leave room for both of you to have feelings and let them pass.
That is the secret ingredient to friends with benefits for years to come.